Aware

So lately I have been struggling with Identity. I think this is something that we could cover in support groups or meetings or conferences, etc for years, and while we learn so much... each season of life is a new struggle in identity. I think that women may experience the struggle more so, but I don't want to discount the 1 or 2 males reading this and say that you don't. But. Women do struggle with this more. Anyway, as the kids go back to school and I am again left in the dust, I often struggle with who I am, what should I be doing, is this enough, what do others think of me? I wonder what to do with my self......

Do I want to be an astronaut?

Or do I want to be a pioneer and discover a new land? Oh, yeah, there we go, how about a pro skateboarder?

All kidding aside... that part was just a way to share pics of our Labor Day weekend ;)

The other night as I was thinking of this post, I came across the song by Salvador, entitled Aware. Really, all I want to be in this life is His daughter. I want to live my life for Him and give Him thanks for saving mine. Whatever else I do, as long as I do for Him, not me, will be right.

Lord, make me aware, help me to see that it is you, and this world has so little to do with me. Your great big plan is so much more than what I can imagine-- and I can imagine a lot! Use me as you would to work for you.

Aware by Salvador (pause the music at the bottom of the page first)

Without Love?

• As much as I have been enjoying the devotional that I read with the kids in the morning-- yes the same one that gave me my new favorite verse, and the kids least favorite verse!- I have found some things that cause me to be more aware. It is very easy for me who grew up in a christian home, school and church, and yet feel like my Bible knowlege is lacking, to disagree with devotionals. I usually go along with them if I know the publisher and figure they have it right. I think I tend to let that be my God breathed scripture, and fail to be as objective as I should be. After all, it is still just human interpretation, and humans tend to interperet to their own liking.

• So, as I re-read some missed devotions from what must have been a Thursday- I am getting ready for work on that one day and we tend to miss the laid back morning- I realized that I don't agree at all with this page. Anyway I am just going to quote the whole thing.

• "But how do I know when I love someone?" Patti asked. "Sometimes I feel love for people. But sometimes I don't." "Love is not a feeling," her mother explained, "It's an action."

"But what kind of action?" "When you help others in need, encourage people, give money, then you know you're loving others. Love is doing things for them." "But what if I don't feel anything? Is it still love?" Her mother smiled. "even if you feel nothing, it doesn't matter. Love is acting to help others. It's not just feeling good inside." "But when you help others, you do feel good inside. Right?" "Correct." As Patti discovered here, obedience is what God wants most. When we obey him, we are loving Him. And oh yes, the verse to accompany it: How do we know that we love God' children? We know it when we love God and obey his commands. 1 John 5:2

• While it isn't a bad sentiment, and yes, love is definately an action word, but, have we oversimplified? This passage is telling me that I don't need love, I just need to do things for other people. What?! What about 1 Corinthians 13:1-3? If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowlege, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

• I do realize that the author was trying to simplify to speak to children. But it is my general feeling that kids can take in more than we give them credit for. I don't like the message being sent out that if they are robots simply doing, doing, doing, without love, that they are okay. The first commandment calls us to love. No, it doesn't come easily, and no, you can't say you love and not obey or serve either. You just can't have one without the other.

• If you are still reading at this point, wondering when exactly I will be stepping down off my soap box, and what the point is for this entire post, bear with me. I really just want to make myself aware, and if by happenstance anyone else gets my point, that we need to be aware of false prophets. The best way for that of course is to learn your scripture inside and out and to keep it in your heart. Its the best defense against the devil and all his attempts to hijack us. Just as you are aware of strangers in public around your children, be aware of what you are reading to your children -- and yourself. I am not saying this to preach, just because I myself needed that wake up and reminder.

Thanks for hanging in there! I am done now... Blessings, Alicia

My New Favorite Verse

I am certain that no one out there will be able to relate to what I am about to say. But bear with me. Today, my kids were cranky, moody, naughty, and just annoying. They were bickering constantly because *gasp* "She talked to me!" "He looked at me!" He this, she's that, and on and on! And yes, this was all before school. Oh Happy Day. Clearly they didn't get the memo that today is Friday, and that Friday is a good thing, and we need to wake up happy because its Friday! Nope. They didn't get that message. And by the time I had to hear from my poor, abused son, that he couldn't believe that I would make him eat that nice hot breakfast with biscuits, sausage, and cheese, (where you can you go wrong with those items?! And no eggs! He hates eggs!) that I made for them, instead of just letting him eat a bowl of cold cereal, I decided it was devotion time. I opened up NIrV Kid's Book of Devotions to today's date and behold! this verse: Children, obey your parents in everything. That pleases the Lord. THANK YOU, JESUS! Jackson honestly said to me after I read it slowly with a huge grin and then read it again just to make sure they heard me, "You are making that up! It doesn't say that!" And I politely said "Colossians 3:20" and his face fell. So I said it once more, just for emphasis. That's the kind of good mom that I am. He then went and found a notebook to write it down. And this was after he devoured his delicious breakfast made by his favorite mom. Yeah, that's right. God was on my side today, point 1 for mom. ;)

'cause everyone else is doing it!

Just for fun- a few other bloggers did this, and I thought it was fun! I knew who they looked like, I don't know 3 of the 5 here!

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Plans

• With school starting up once again, there always comes more lists. Have to do this, this, and this, pick up this, drop this off, go here. The daily planning has begun. This morning I woke up with another fully planned day in front of me. All the work needing to get done blazing at the front of my mind. Some anxiety may have been present.
• Then, I read today's devotional in the book I started this summer. "Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness."
• And then, the craziest thing happened. I read it again. And then, I followed it. I absorbed these words. And the scripture that ties it in: Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. James 4:13-15 Now listen you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money," Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." (To say "Lord willing" takes me back to days with my Grandma, everytime I left, I would say, "see ya on Sunday" and she always replied, "Lord Willing") So, before I attacked my to-do list, I stopped, I prayed. I prayed that God show me what needs to be done, and that those may go well. And that I not worry over every thing else waiting for me. And you know what? Today went so smoothly that I had extra time in it! I don't know if I did everything on my original list. But I know I accomplished what needed to be accomplished, mostly starting the day off with my devotions and prayer.
• I will just say that bed time- one little hiccup in my planned out day: I felt Maicy needed to be in bed asleep early. She felt the need to discuss with me the thickness of her watermelon slice at lunch. I believe that she makes God smile daily -- me too!

Have You Found Jesus?

What a beautiful weekend!! The weather was perfect here and we were able to enjoy a lot of outdoor time!Church service in the park! Great food and Fellowship-- awesome! Mid 70's for highs and very fall like! Love it!

• I wanted to let you know a little how my meeting with our support worker, Beth went. It was very good, and I didn't realize how badly I needed to tell her my side of the whole story. She is a great source of support and the best part is that she is a woman of faith. It just makes our connection work. I think she was relieved the first time we met also to discover that we were a Christian home. Anyway, we had a great discussion about our case and I am so glad that we were able to get together. She has been through the system many times and as sad as it is, we discussed how very frustrating DHS really is. That is an all to sad truth about the juvenile courts. Aside from venting our frustrations however, we did have some great talks. We were able to discuss how to differently enter into another foster case - especially if we are looking to be a pre-adoptive home for children. She answered a lot of questions about what we are able to request and how to go about that.
• And we talked for awhile about how while Sioux County has the lowest rate of reported child abuse/neglect, it also has the highest number of foster families per capita. I knew about the child abuse rate, but didn't realize the foster family ratio! Beth isn't from Sioux County, so for her to make these observations isn't based on bias either. And they are facts, not speculation. Beth believes, and I fully agree, that the moral living and faith based living of this small county are what make these facts. Its so true. As Christians, we nurture and love our children- not always perfectly- but definitely with love and knowing right from wrong. And we also want to show Christ's love to others. Hence the foster families. We want to be able to love others, heal their hurts, and show them the unconditional love of our Heavenly Father.
• I think that living here, I definitely take for granted that not all areas of the country are like this. We are so very privileged to live in a close knit community that does for the most part, share that one common bond, and that is the love of Christ Jesus. It doesn't matter what school our kids go to or what church we attend. Everywhere we go here, the Bible is the center of daily living and we don't need to feel embarrassed by what we believe, because most of our co-workers and our children's teachers believe the same thing. And I know that not everyone here is a Christian or actively participating in their faith walk, but the majority of us are, and that's an awesome thing to be a part of! I thank God for the opportunity to be in this area!

And because I have a warped sense of humor, instead of focusing, all I can picture in my head is the scene from "New in Town" where the New Ulm lady asked Renee Zellweger's character "Have you found Jesus?" Renee: "Oh, I didn't know he was lost!" "We don't joke about the Lord here"

I am sorry, It's random, but it cracks me up! Give me a Minnesota accent and there ya have the post!

Sweetness

Conversations with Maicy

• Maicy: What are those?
• Me: Caramel Bits
• Maicy: Why are there sticks in there?
• Me: If people want to make caramel apples then they have the sticks already
• Maicy: Well I want to
• Me: Want to what?
• Maicy: Make caramel apples
• Me: No we are using the caramel for bars
• Maicy: but what about the sticks
• Me: We don't need those
• Maicy:But what are they for?
• Me: People who want to make caramel apples
• Maicy:But I want to
• Me: We aren't
• Maicy:But you said if anyone wants to and I want to
• Me: Not today
• Maicy: When?
• Enter Jackson: Maybe some day in 20 years when mom is like 50 something.
• Me: Thanks Jackson

• And I know that while I was frustrated, I picture grandma laughing her butt off because of the sweet paybacks of her child having a child "just like you!"

God is good!