If anyone can tell me why I can't get paragraph breaks to show up please do!!! I swear I broke it up for easier reading!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
- I have a lot to say today, and I don't know how well I can say what I want to say. So, bear with me.
- I have been really anxious this past week, nervous, excited, confused all of the above. We have some big decisions and things may or may not happen as we hope/plan. So, that leaves me feeling a little shaky and emotional. -- did I mention that Maicy - my baby- started school full time last week?! That doesn't help with logical thinking, really. I cried a lot. And Steve is working out of town. I am dealing with that, it just adds to it. So, anyway. My point. Yesterday at church, morning service had a baptism, of triplets-- so awesome! God provided for them! But of course if you know me at all, you know I cried. Mostly during the singing of Children of the Heavenly Father afterwards. But it was for the most part, happy tears for the family. A little bit though in all honesty was an ache for another child or a few children to hold. Knowing the situations that are presented to us, makes it real and yet makes it feel so far out of our grasp. More anxiouxness.
- So, at night, I was back at church alone-- my hour alone while my awesome hubby stays home with the kids and gets them ready for bed, I love Sunday nights!-- the first three songs we sang moved me so much and spoke to me right there. (I was able to hold back my tears, but barely) The first song was Thy Word -always good, God's word is a lamp to our feet, we need to follow it. It was the next two that really did it. Word of God Speak by Mercy Me. Here are the lyrics in case you don't know them:
- I'm finding myself at a loss for words And the funny thing is it's okay The last thing I need is to be heard But to hear what You would say [CHORUS] Word of God speak Would You pour down like rain Washing my eyes to see Your majesty To be still and know That You're in this place Please let me stay and rest In Your holiness Word of God speak I'm finding myself in the midst of You Beyond the music, beyond the noise All that I need is to be with You And in the quiet hear Your voice [REPEAT CHORUS 2x] I'm finding myself at a loss for words And the funny thing is it's okay
- The chorus is just what I needed. Word of God, speak to me, that I may be still and hear your quiet voice. Let me rest, knowing that you are in control, you know what will happen and I will trust in you. To finish it off, the next song was 'Tis so Sweet I won't put all the words here, but will give a link to them. But it goes "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus and to take him at his word" http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh462.sht You can here the tune and see all the words on that link. It is so sweet that we are able to trust in Jesus, its in his word. And not to forget to give proper acknowlegement to Pastor Bob, the sermon title was "the Gift of God's Word" Also spoke deeply to me. And brings me to my last point, at the risk of making this my longest post ever! sorry, just bear with me, I told you I have a lot to say and really no one can stop me, you can just stop reading, all 3 of you! =)
- Anyway, I am going to be honest here, I am horrible at memorizing scripture. I can't really memorize anything and I rarely know where things are found. I usually go "oh I remember something about that sort of, that goes a little like this, that I read somewhere in this part oh wait nope wrong thing" I know, not a good steward of Christian Education and years of Sunday School and bible studies. But its the truth. So I need HELP! I want to know God's words, and yes, I read it, I just don't always find what I am looking for. So, if you have a moment and you have encouraging words found in scripture, would you please share them with me? Go ahead and put them in the comments or email me. I want to write them down and paste them around my house. Thank you so much for your help! I apologize for taking up so much time! Happy Monday!!
Posted by alicia at 11:14 AM
Friday, March 27, 2009
At this time, there a several decisions to be made. I am not going into specifics right now, but please, please be in prayer for our family right now. Several cases have been brought up to us and we really need prayers in knowing what is the right path and where God is leading us. I will of course, keep you posted!
Posted by alicia at 8:50 AM
Monday, March 9, 2009
I realize its been awhile since I said anything here. I wish there was more to say. We have had no phone calls and so far don't feel completely called to act on any of the sibling groups that we have found online.
I found this picture of Maicy today and felt that it fits how I feel lately. Life is turned upside down, but now we just sit and wait to see what's next. I do know that anyone who has walked this adoption journey ahead of us or is going on it now, knows how I feel. At first you are so busy getting all of this paperwork together, we had classes with homework to take us through the fall, all of this new excitement with each new accomplishment, and well, now we wait. I believe that what makes waiting so difficult is that we have absolutley no control over it! We are forced into patience and to lean on our Heavenly Father for His perfect timing. I know this in my head and in my head I am prepared for the wait. Its my heart that doesn't want to listen. My arms ache to hold another child in my arms and to say "Welcome Home, here you will be loved and safe"
Honestly- I may have lied earlier when I said that "we" don't feel called to act on these sibling groups, I want to take each and every child home that I see their picture and read their brief story. Steve is of course much more practical then I am, that's why we make a great match. And as he dawdles, usually the children are placed in that time. At first I want to get mad and frustrated certain that "those were the ones!!" But, I do know, that they aren't/weren't the ones. If they were, God would have made things happen here. And they would still be waiting and available for us. God is bringing us through this each day, and I am working on my patience.
Perspective is our MOPS topic tomorrow. I know that it will be good for me. My perspective on our adoption process is that we have been waiting for almost a year since that is when we made the final decision. Steve's perspective is that we have only had our license and homestudy for one month. His perspective does make waiting easier.
Okay. That's really all that I had for now. In the future if I have nothing on our process, I will try to at least update on things our family is doing and add pics of the kids. I hate for you to get bored and stop checking in on us!
Have a great Monday!
Posted by alicia at 9:22 AM