Thursday, June 25, 2009

What is going on?!

If you are asking yourself where I have been (I am sure that isn't the case with more than 1 or 2 people) then let me answer your question. This is what we have been up to:
One of my best friends since 1st grade got married this last weekend! Steve and Maicy were waiting during picture time, so were Jackson and I.
And of course we needed to make time for mani's and pedi's! Our hands and feet really did need this! Especially after working to make a machine shed into a reception hall!
The beautiful couple, may God richly bless your lives together! We couldn't be more happy for you! (Unless of course you decided to move that dairy farm back here where you belong!)
So, between running the kids here and there between ball and everything else, and helping to get this wedding off without a hitch, it has been busy around here. A good busy though. And I did find myself feeling a little bit sorry for myself once in awhile since my friend is now living 3 hours away from me. You need to understand that neither of us have a sister, and God so firmly planted us into each other's lives to fill that space. So, it is bittersweet for me, I am soooo happy for her and have no doubts that this is the man God chose for her, yet I will miss my friend being a short 45 min drive away from me.
In other news. There is no news. I am finding myself wrestling with things right now. I feel so completely out of control as far as the future of our family that somedays I just don't know what I will do. My comfort is in knowing that while it feels out of control to me, God has us right in His palm and knows what comes next. But knowing that, doesn't make my insecurities go away. My lack of trust isn't in Him, but in myself. In the missing of a phone call from an agency, why can't they just leave a message so I don't have to wonder if I need to call back or what they really wanted!? Why don't they call my cell phone?! Don't they know I have caller ID and by saying nothing they are really ruining the rest of my day?! Do I call them back? Will I sound like a crazy person, "yeah, um, we aren't actually going through you for an adoption agency, but I see that you called at such an such a time and I was, uh, just wondering what that was in regards to?' I am crazy, its okay. I have come to grips with that a long time ago. (confirmed by the fact that I stayed up until 2am last night to make sure no tornados came through here while everyone else slept-- soundly-- because why wouldn't you sleep soundly, the tornados were over 75 miles away!) So anyway, now that you all can see how neurotic I really am, you know a little bit more what has been going on! Which is again, nothing. Just so we're clear.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

So, maybe not...

I am sorry for the lack of updates, it has been a crazy few weeks around here. May usually is and all of a sudden, June is half over!! I don't have much to tell you.... the case in NC that we had submitted our homestudy to for review didn't turn out. I guess I had a feeling it wouldn't, they did want to keep them in the state. Understandable. The other case, the one that I have really felt that God has called us to and that I truly have had on my heart that it could be the one, I found out today that the chances are pretty slim. The Bio mom will more than likely regain custody-- I know that should be a good thing, but not if she really doesn't change. Prayers for that little guy are needed, as well as for his bio family and foster family. I did get to hear from others who took the PS-MAPP class with us this week, which was very fun! Sadly, I think everyone is feeling frustration also. It is hard when you are so ready to open up your hearts and homes to another child, or children, and God's answer is "wait." So we wait. I am reading and re-reading the verses from all of you, and I am finding comfort in them and finding new ones as well. I know the best thing to do now is to lean on Him and to wait on Him.