The End

This is a repost. Today marks one year since my Grandma passed away. Some days I still think that I am going to give her a quick call or stop in for some of her famous St Nick cookies. And then I remember that she's already Home. I miss her here on earth terribly, yet I rejoice in the life that I can't even begine to imagine that she has lived in Heaven this past year. Love you, Grandma Pearl!

You know when you are reading a really good book... and you near the end of it with just a few pages left... and you don't want to finish it? You don't want the book to end despite knowing its going to be great. You just don't want to be not reading that book so you try to draw it out longer?

Maybe that's just me.

This week my Grandma's story was completed.

I knew it was coming and I knew it had to end, but there is still that overwhelming feeling of sadness that it is actually over.
It was a great story, my Grandma's. I've written bits of her story many times in my life. The whole thing is just too much for one book. It's not a story of great riches or thrilling adventures in far away places. It's not a story that boasts of one's life. That's not what made her story great.

Her story was great because it was written by God and it was for God. And she knew it.

There was poverty, death, deceit, and hurt. But there was always HOPE. My Grandma's hope was in the Lord and no matter what was thrown her way, she was steadfast in that faith. If she was going to tell you a story that was about hurts and hardships, it was to prove that God was there with her. When her family didn't know where their next meal would come from, God provided. When her husband passed away unexpectedly on their 25 wedding anniversary, God was there. And that is what she wanted to make sure you knew by the time the story was over. God. Was. There. Always.

Hers is also a story of JOY. She would do just about anything for anyone. She made everyone feel as though they were her favorite. She had a cheerful heart, welcoming people into her home. Sharing baked goodies. Sharing a good story. She loved to help out, that gave her and those around her great joy.

Maicy and Grandma Pearl, Thanksgiving 2009




Jackson and Grandma Pearl, Thanksgiving 2009

 God made her story great. Her story was written for God.
And as I write, I know the truth.
This earthly story is just a prologue. Her real story is just beginning.

I love you Grandma. You will be greatly missed, but the stories which you have woven into my heart and the memories will be with me.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.


Linking up with Michelle De Rusha at Graceful and  Jen and the beautiful gals of Soli De Gloria

Oh...what's that you say? I write?!

It seems as though have completely forgotten that I have a blog! Okay, I haven't forgotten exactly, I have just been... well.... avoiding it. Not for any particular reason. Mostly lots of little reasons that make up a good enough excuse for me to stay away from pretty much all blogs in general. However, I miss it. I miss my friends that I only know because of this blog and theirs. So, I am getting my feet wet once again and going to hopefully be around more often.

I will start off the year (I do not care that it is already January 9! The year is just beginning!)  Anyways, I can't begin at this time and not look back at 2011. I started off by writing about my ONE WORD for the year. I chose STORY for my year.Feel free to re-fresh your memory...I'll wait. I had no clue what God had in store for my story in this year. I just knew that without a doubt, this was the word He wanted me to keep in my head.  And then... just 2 days later I found out what His purpose was in that one word. Enter in: Charlie Brown. Go ahead and refresh your memory on that one. I just did and oh. My. It all came back to me like a tidal wave. I had no idea writing out those words declaring my absolute trust in God to protect and guard our hearts, just how much my faith would be tested. Of course, as I wrote those, I think I felt pretty confident that it would go MY way. Oh. What a difference a year can make.

I shared in June that Charlie Brown would be returning to his mother in August. I don't know if I ever mentioned that we would know more in November after the review. This update is looonggg overdue as it is no longer November. And yes, that IS in fact the last time I posted. And if you want to get all Freud on me and discuss whether or not our November court date had anything to do with me not posting since that time, well, you just do what you need to. I told myself over and over and over that I knew it was coming and therefore no. big. deal. So. Anyways. After feeling like my life was on hold for 6 months and that I was holding my breath waiting for what I was told would be a permanency hearing, it was clear that Charlie Brown would stay with his mother. Court was just a review to see how she was doing. I wasn't shaken or shocked. Nothing changed.

Except that I could breathe. Sometimes just knowing makes the hard road easier.

He continued to be faithful. He continued to protect my heart. He protected my children. He held us close.
He not only held us, but he opened our eyes prior to the court hearing. He showed me so that I wouldn't be caught off guard. Because He is good and faithful, I can share my story. And it is a good story. How could it not be? God is a good author.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.


This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long

Still Praising my Savior.... for it is HIS story...



Linking up with Michelle and Jen once again...

Heard it. Yes, I heard okay?!

I have been wanting to link up Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday with Michelle over at Graceful for quite some time now but between being snowed in at hockey tournaments and computer crashes, I haven't quite gotten that done. Hopefully this is the day.

The fact that is has taken me this long may also have to do with the fact that as a general rule I need to hear things SEVERAL Sundays or times before I really HEAR it. This is no exception to that and I am still struggling. I am hearing, I just don't want to listen.

A few weeks ago I received what I assumed was a random text message. It contained a very nice Bible verse and I read it, smiled, and thought that was lovely. And moved on.
I then went to get the mail and was quite surprised to find a letter from Charlie Brown's (yes, that's the name I'm going with for our foster baby for the sake of this blog since I cannot use his real name- if you saw his head you would confirm that it is quite a fitting title. Ahem.) mom. I was a little bit surprised. Okay, a lot surprised. I didn't think she would have access to my information. Guess again! I wanted to tear it open to see what she could possibly say, and I wanted to tear it up and pretend she didn't actually exist. Turns out that she really is a real person with a real story- whether or not I hear the truth in her story doesn't matter. She is his mom. I still had no desire to talk to her or write her or be nice or anything. I was still ready to tear up the letter and take Charlie Brown and my family and head to Figi. (not really so please do not report me to DHS, they already have my number thankyouverymuch. )

Are you curious about the verse yet? It was about the time I was browsing real estate in the tropics (*ahem*) that the gentle nudge came to reread that text. Fine. I will read it. "Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone". Col. 4:5 NLT.  Nowhere in that verse does it tell me to pack up and flee the country so I decided to re-read it. Make the most of every opportunity. Yes, you certainly did give me the opportunity to present the gospel to an unbeliever, didn't you God. Just like I asked not that long ago. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive.  So...sarcasm will not be appreciated in my response to her then?

I would like to say that all of this alone was convicting enough to change my heart and attitude, but for those of you who know me, I just don't sway that easily. I did promptly text a "thank you" -of sorts- to dear Erin for her oh so timely Bible texts. And I did find a lovely card with some nice verses on it to send my letter back to mom in. On ther surface I do believe I looked quite gracious.

Enter in Sunday. A few Sundays later mind you, but there it was none the less. Let me just share with you a sampling of song titles, if you don't know the songs, google them.
 I Give You my Heart
The Potter's Hand
Have Thine Own Way Lord (mmm-hmmm)
We are an Offering
Make Me a Channel of Your Peace
Take My Life and Let it Be
and of course ...
I Surrender All. 

Now. I like to think I catch on pretty quick. But. I don't always want to.
I am not sure how much more clearly our Heavenly Father could say to me "This is NOT about you. This is not about "the mom". This is not even about Charlie Brown. This is about ME. This is MY story. You are an instrument in MY kingdom to bring people to ME. Whether you like it or not."

Do I know what is going to happen with Charlie Brown? No. Do I know what will happen with "the mom"? Nope. Do I know what will happen to our family? Not a chance.
How do I go on? Because I do know that despite all I don't know, GOD KNOWS. And He will take care of everyone. My only job here is to be a gracious speaker and to show kindness and compassion where I don't want to. My job is to show the light of Christ to a very dark place. I know that I cannot do this. But I do know that God can. And that is all I need to know right now.

To meet Michelle, click the box above to see more great inspiring stories. You'll be so glad you did!

This is my STORY, This is my song...

Well just last week I posted here sharing my ONE WORD. My word is STORY. I said that God was busy writing my story and I was struggling to read it.

What a difference a day makes.

Our story has changed dramatically. The cast of characters added to and switched up a bit.

2 years ago I started this blog as a way to keep friends and family updated on our journey into foster-adoption. Thus far it's been a rather uneventful journey and this blog has moved on to many more things. Which is great, but I never forgot why I started it. We wanted to expand our family. We prayed about how to do that. We were led to fostering. And then the story seemed to stop. Like an unfinished manuscript sitting on the shelf collecting dust.  Picked up and thumbed through occasionally, but put back to collect more dust. No more story to tell yet. That's where I felt we were left.

We were at the point of looking into other adoption options. Do we go overseas? Do we give up? Prayers went up. My daughter asked many times when it would be OUR turn to have a baby... or toddler.

What a difference a day makes.

Our manuscript has been dusted off... a new story line enters in...

Friday afternoon around 2:00 we received a call and I said some sarcastic things in my head as I knew the number well. It usually tore me to pieces by the time I hung up. This one was different. A baby needs a home... now. Long term. Prefer dual licensed home because, well, the odds of custody being restored are slim. Two hours later I opened the door to a sweet little 3 month old boy with a very bald head and 2 kissable dimples. This little man has stolen our hearts in such a little time. My kids are thrilled, being excellent helpers and my dear husband struts around with a new little one in his arms. We know that this may be temporary. We know that our hearts may be broken. But we know that right now this little man needs love and care and we have that in abundance. Right now, we trust in God that He will guard our hearts and if we need to give him back, God will still be there to uphold us all. And that will be another story.

I am also constantly reminded of another story...in another series that is now running into ours. The mom's story. Its a sad and difficult story. I pray that she may have a happy ending to her story and that she finds the One who makes the stories worth living. I know that her happy ending may result in our sad ending. But I trust in God to take care of us. And to take care of this sweet baby. It is his story that has taken over our lives.

I will share as much of our story as I can with you all. But much cannot be told of mom and baby's story. Join us in prayer for the mom as she is dealing with life. Prayer for us as we adjust to life with a new baby. Prayer for the social workers and judges who have to make decisions for this sweet man.

Now, excuse me, there's a little guy who's waiting for some kisses...

2 Weeks Later and I Have Just 1 Word.

So... When I opened my blog page this morning, it was still wishing me a Merry Christmas. Yikes! Time to get back at it! I will say that I had a great week plus of stepping back from my computer keeping my cell phone tucked away in my bedroom where I wouldn't check it constantly. It was amazing how much more face time I got with my family.

But now they're back in their routines, so I should be too.

Happy New Year! Okay, so I'm a little bit late with that too. Do you make Resolutions each year? I will be honest, I do not. I really don't enjoy knowing at the beginning of the year what I will feel guilty about come July. Or February. I am no good at sticking with resolutions. Having said that, I do try many times throughout the year to improve myself or become a better person. I just don't save it for January 1.

So, what to do instead? I was reading my good ol' friend Bina's blog last week ( yeah I snuck in a blog read now and then, so sue me) and she introduced me to the idea of a word of the year.Alece at Grit and Glory actually came up with it and I am jumping on.  One. Word. Not a sentence or a paragraph or an explanation. But ONE. WORD. to be your theme. I have done a verse a year, but never a single word.

I like it. I can try this, I decided. But what word?? Hers was "believe". Ooohh.. Yeah, I like that one... oh, I should come up with my own huh? That was where I was worried. So, of course, I went to God. What should my word of the year be? What do you want me to work on this year? What word can I do for YOU, Lord?
I let my prayer go and went about my business. As I drove home from Nebraska Monday morning, I ended up doing what I always do... humming a song. Not just any song. The same song that is always in my head. When I mow, when I clean, when I drive, when I shop. I don't know why, it just is always there. And that is when God gave me my word for the year.

Story.

 I don't claim to know why He chose this word for me. I do know that I love a good story. I know that everyone has there own story. I know that God is the author of those stories. I know that God is working hard to help me write my own story. Or I'm working hard to read it, I'm not sure which.

I will come back to this word often in the coming year and see what God's been up to with my word.
Will you join in in seeking God's word for your year? What would your year be?

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long