I Surrender All

I realize I have taken a longer than planned hiatus from this space. I would gladly say that I am returning for good, but that's hard to do when I don't even know why I've left in the first place. So, I am here now. For now I have words churning inside me trying to find their escape. It is a frightening thing to ask the Holy Spirit in, because He really does get in there.

We stood singing in our new church home Sunday morning. Kids in Sunday School, lights dimmed as usual, graphics all around us. There was no band this morning. Only one man with a piano and one simple drum. Still we sang the songs associated with our Sunday morning worship time- contempory praise- 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman and others. And then. Then he threw an old hymn in there. The meat and potatoes of worship he called it. I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live. 

I love this song I thought... I miss it. I surrender it all to you, Lord.

1. • I surrender all,
     I surrender all;
     All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
     I surrender all.
   • All? Do you surrender all? He asks.
2. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Humbly at His feet I bow,
   Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
   Take me, Jesus, take me now.
3. Well yeah. All. Sure. I think... 
4. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
   Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
   Truly know that Thou art mine.
5. Wait... I'm waiting for test results on my daughter. All? Even that? 
6. You said "all"
7. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Lord, I give myself to Thee;
   Fill me with Thy love and power;
   Let Thy blessing fall on me.
8. Yes, Lord. ALL.
9. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Now I feel the sacred flame.
   Oh, the joy of full salvation!
   Glory, glory, to His Name!
10. It hurts and it's scary. But yes, ALL.
11. Sometimes I sing the words, I say the words and I think I've done enough. I don't expect to be called on it. Lord, I love you, I will take up my mat and follow you....just don't test me on that, m'kay?
12. I gave it all and the peace came. I no longer fretted. The tests came back fine. But I know that even if it hadn't, His peace would have surrounded me. All I need to do is surrender. Sounds so simple. Yet I know I will struggle with it again and again. I need to give it up each and every day. 
13. Where are you on this? Do you cling on to control and worry? Are you able to surrender all, even when it terrifies you? 
14.