Monday, April 26, 2010

So long insecurity?...gulp! - updated

This past Saturday I had the privilege of attending a Beth Moore Simulcast. 369 locations participated with over 300,000 women joining together yet apart in the name of God! That was awesome. To think that others out there, were worshipping at the same time, hearing the same message, together across the country. Only God.

I wish that if you weren't there, that you could have been. Beth Moore has an amazing gift for delivering God's message with a fiery passion. There is a lot of volume packed into that tiny package! :) I am not sure what I expected to get out of this, but the title "So long Insecurity, you've been a terrible friend" was a pretty enticing notion.  Especially if you consider that over our lunch break a few of us were standing outside and as I caught my own reflection in the window, my only thought was "Wow, who is that behind me, oh wait, that's still me, why did I wear these pants?!" Ahem. Yeah. The irony is not wasted on me.

I won't go into great detail about what she said, but want to give you some background on the day. After all, no one can say it like she does, and I'd just look like a fool trying to make a sentence.

Beth explained that insecurity is an example of a lack of faith and that insecurity and humility are not the same. Honestly, that spoke volumes to me! I am never able to accept compliments or toot my own horn for and use the excuse of humility in conjunction with insecurity. To be told that this is truly a lack of faith in who God made me to be was a real eye opener.

At the end of the simulcast, we paired up and commissioned each other. Telling one another that we are WORTHWHILE, A CHILD OF GOD, EXCEPTIONAL, and honestly I wish I could remember more of exactly what the comission was.

So after all of this, what have I done to change? After all, in Ephesians 4 we are called to take off the old, and put on the new self. We need to be a before and after in our lives. My issue? My insecurity is like my security blanket. Its like someone who never cuts their hair short because they feel it is their security. They would feel exposed without it. I feel exposed without insecurity. I have so much self doubt blanketing my every move, to take that away would cut like a raw winter's wind. I feel the moment I am confident in myself, something or someone will come around and laugh or cut me down and remind me that I have no right to be sure of anything I do. Please know, I am not looking for pitty, I am simply opening up to the deep down of my heart and sharing what's there. This is not an easy task for me.

My commission, to take up my faith. To know that God doesn't make mistakes. To know with confidence that I am Saved from myself, Entitled to truth, Clothed in righteousness, Upended by grace, Rebounded by love, and Exceptional in life.

One of the closing lines was "Are others worth what it would take for you to walk in the security of life?" I answer with a resounding "YES!"  You are worth seeing what being a secure Christian woman is. You are worth seeing what God has the power to do, and only God can do that.

So, dear friends, I am taking off my insecurity blanket, I will walk in confidence. For I am His, and He is mine.

Won't you join me?

*Updated just a few short hours after the original post-  I just had to share this with y'all because really. God is working on me full force. He has no intention of waiting for me to take off my insecurity blanket!
I had a lunch meeting today (which I forgot about until a co-worker called to remind me and I had to hussle to get ready) So, this was an educational meeting with about 35 hairdressers. You know, pretty people in one room. Love that. Ahem. So, as I sat down and took off my jacket, it hooked on my chair. Next thing I know my chair is next to me and I am on the floor. Honestly there are times that could have been embarrassing enough to me to bring me to tears- like the time it happened in church (evidently being "Upended in Grace" has taken on a quite literal meaning in my life) I managed to laugh at myself, and though it got warm in there for a minute, it was okay. I was okay. And we moved on and I moved on. That is security.



12 comments:

Anonymous said...

So glad you enjoyed it and got a lot out of it too. :O)

www.dianeestrella.com

Anita said...

It's such a relief to know others feel the same way about insecurity. It's not even something I think about, yet it's there all day, everyday. Thanks for posting this Alicia - it's great!

Sara said...

Yay! I love this post, Alicia & I am cheering (praying) for you to keep growing in this area. It's SO funny because this is an area I SO struggled with for so many years of my life and while I definitely still have my moments, God has helped me to truly be able to see my value and worth through HIM and in HIM. I know that Twillypop (the blog & the business) could never have happened a moment sooner in my life because of my lack of confidence/confusion about humility.I was so shy and afraid, never able to see the good things about me & always focusing on the negative. I'm sure you know the drill, as A LOT of Christian women do! He has shown me that I have gifts, nothing about which I can boast because they are just GIFTS He gave me, but they are gifts I am now excited to acknowledge and use. Not only am I excited to use them, but to see what HE wants to do with them. All with a spirit of humility and thankfulness, remembering the time when I didn't know my worth in HIM.
You are a beautiful, fun, talented mom and woman in Christ! I'm so glad to know you. THanks for letting me share! :D

Emily Ann Benedict said...

I love Beth Moore. She has helped me with so many things. :) Thanks for sharing this message. Insecurity seems to be such a huge problem for people (me included). Approaching it from a standpoint of faith is a great way of putting it. :D

alicia said...

Thank you all for the comments! I had to update at the bottom to share what happened just a few hours after this post went up. Thankyou God, for ripping my insecurity blanket away. :)

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

How I would have loved to have participated in the Beth Moore simulcast! Beth feels like an old friend, doesn't she? What a delight she is.

As for your, um ... accident. I once had to deliver part of our liturgy one Sunday when the pastor was gone. I went up front, and right in front of God and everybody, I slipped on the hem of my pants.

I stood up, smiled (weakly) and told the group: "There I go, falling for Jesus again."

;-)

Love ya...

Faith Imagined said...

It sounds like you are taking a huge step of faith by letting go of your insecurity! Amen! I can't wait to see what God does through you!!!!!

Mc Allen said...

I seriously love her. We are BFF's in my head :) I just did the reedited Breaking Free and LOVED IT! Im so glad you were able to laugh at yourself. Look at you breaking free!!! xoxo LA

Lynda Young said...

The wonderful thing is that we can walk in confidence. Thanks for the reminder.

Kim said...

I was there too girl... how awesome to think that 300,000 women all heard the same message...

I have been insecure since birth and I wish I had heard something saturday that would have snapped me out of these feelings... not that Beth didn't deliver a good message.. much like you my insecurity IS my security and I just don't understand how to let it go yet...

I almost didn't go because my roommate took ill and couldn't go with me... 44 yrs old and I am afraid to go places alone...

I've faked insecurity at times, likely the only thing that got me on a bodybuilding stage, twice, I just wish I knew how to have that security i found for a few fleeting months, for good...

Gabby said...

There are SO many things about this post that I can relate to.. where to start?
First, I am almost done reading the book, and while I did not see the simulcast, I am SO JEALOUS, because I have seen her in person, and she is FABULOUS! I love her teaching and every time I am so inspired to study the word more vigilantly and with fervor!

Insecurity is a tough root to hoe!

Love the post!

covnitkepr1 said...

I increase my faith by reading the of miricles that Jesus performed...I really believe He did them...Not just a head knowledge, but a heart felt belief.
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