This past Saturday I had the privilege of attending a Beth Moore Simulcast. 369 locations participated with over 300,000 women joining together yet apart in the name of God! That was awesome. To think that others out there, were worshipping at the same time, hearing the same message, together across the country. Only God.
I wish that if you weren't there, that you could have been. Beth Moore has an amazing gift for delivering God's message with a fiery passion. There is a lot of volume packed into that tiny package! :) I am not sure what I expected to get out of this, but the title "So long Insecurity, you've been a terrible friend" was a pretty enticing notion. Especially if you consider that over our lunch break a few of us were standing outside and as I caught my own reflection in the window, my only thought was "Wow, who is that behind me, oh wait, that's still me, why did I wear these pants?!" Ahem. Yeah. The irony is not wasted on me.
I won't go into great detail about what she said, but want to give you some background on the day. After all, no one can say it like she does, and I'd just look like a fool trying to make a sentence.
Beth explained that insecurity is an example of a lack of faith and that insecurity and humility are not the same. Honestly, that spoke volumes to me! I am never able to accept compliments or toot my own horn for and use the excuse of humility in conjunction with insecurity. To be told that this is truly a lack of faith in who God made me to be was a real eye opener.
At the end of the simulcast, we paired up and commissioned each other. Telling one another that we are WORTHWHILE, A CHILD OF GOD, EXCEPTIONAL, and honestly I wish I could remember more of exactly what the comission was.
So after all of this, what have I done to change? After all, in Ephesians 4 we are called to take off the old, and put on the new self. We need to be a before and after in our lives. My issue? My insecurity is like my security blanket. Its like someone who never cuts their hair short because they feel it is their security. They would feel exposed without it. I feel exposed without insecurity. I have so much self doubt blanketing my every move, to take that away would cut like a raw winter's wind. I feel the moment I am confident in myself, something or someone will come around and laugh or cut me down and remind me that I have no right to be sure of anything I do. Please know, I am not looking for pitty, I am simply opening up to the deep down of my heart and sharing what's there. This is not an easy task for me.
My commission, to take up my faith. To know that God doesn't make mistakes. To know with confidence that I am Saved from myself, Entitled to truth, Clothed in righteousness, Upended by grace, Rebounded by love, and Exceptional in life.
One of the closing lines was "Are others worth what it would take for you to walk in the security of life?" I answer with a resounding "YES!" You are worth seeing what being a secure Christian woman is. You are worth seeing what God has the power to do, and only God can do that.
So, dear friends, I am taking off my insecurity blanket, I will walk in confidence. For I am His, and He is mine.
Won't you join me?
*Updated just a few short hours after the original post- I just had to share this with y'all because really. God is working on me full force. He has no intention of waiting for me to take off my insecurity blanket!
I had a lunch meeting today (which I forgot about until a co-worker called to remind me and I had to hussle to get ready) So, this was an educational meeting with about 35 hairdressers. You know, pretty people in one room. Love that. Ahem. So, as I sat down and took off my jacket, it hooked on my chair. Next thing I know my chair is next to me and I am on the floor. Honestly there are times that could have been embarrassing enough to me to bring me to tears- like the time it happened in church (evidently being "Upended in Grace" has taken on a quite literal meaning in my life) I managed to laugh at myself, and though it got warm in there for a minute, it was okay. I was okay. And we moved on and I moved on. That is security.