Thursday, October 7, 2010

Unedited

We sit at computer screens and share our lives. Our joys. Our sorrows. Our fears. Our hopes Our laughter. Our tears.

Yet we edit.

 I can't tell these people how much I yelled at my daughter this morning over a pair of shoes!

I can't tell them how long it took me to find this verse that I wanted to share- that maybe I'm not as knowledgable as they think.

Thank goodness these people didn't hear what I said. Or thought.

Here's a good picture of me, at least you can't see how big my bottom is in it!

Let me put make-up on just so before taking a picture for this.

Type something funny and witty. Delete. Re-type. Delete. Re-type.

Crop here. Edit that.

We share our lives, yet we're able to tuck away the parts that cause our insecurities. Today, I will come face to face with one whom I've shared so many of those joys, sorrows, laughs, tears, and hopes with. FACE to FACE. For the first time.

There is no editing.

My thoughts invade:
She'll be able to see all of me- fluffy tummy and all. What if she's repulsed?

What if she is annoyed by my loud laugh?

She'll be able to see all of me- fluffy tummy and all. What if she's repulsed?

What if she's driven over the edge by my chatter and frustrated that as soon as more people are there, I clam up.

What if I cry to much during the retreat, or not enough. What if I giggle at the most serious time because that's what happens sometimes.

What if she finds me boring. What if we have nothing to talk about (so not likely!) What if I say something I would have preferred to delete and re-type.

She'll see me. All of me. Unedited.

I am bursting with joy and nervousness at the anticipation of a weekend with a friend that God has led to me. A friendship that only He can weave together from the heart of the midwest to the California coast. A time of reflection and spriritual renewal in the mountains of California.

I can't wait, dear Bina. To see you face to face. Unedited.

12 comments:

Diane said...

It will be beautiful and wonderful just like in the Garden of Eden, unashamed and not embarrassed. Have fun girls!!! :O)

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

I'm eager to hear about your meeting.

Unedited ... I like that.

Holly said...

she will LOVE you!!! I know I DO.. ALL of you totally unedited and YOU!!!
You are an amazing woman! Have a great weekend...

Amy Sullivan said...

Yes, I can relate...wanting to present yourself a certain way, and worrying what others truly see in you. Do they see the insecurity? Would they love you just the same?

I like the idea of being uneditted, but it is a struggle for me to actually live this out.

Gabby said...

Great post, and she will love every bit and not notice the flaws, she'll be too worried about her own! HA!

Karen said...

Alicia, how wonderful! I follow Bina, too. Can't wait to hear about your meeting. Please take pictures and post them! God's hand is in this. Blessings!

Marissa said...

how fun and exciting! NO judgement, just memories that will last a lifetime :) HAVE FUN!!!

Duane Scott said...

I want to meet you. Unedited style. :)

You have such a good heart.

Very honest.

Graceful said...

I like this post, Alicia -- it's raw and honest.

How cool that you are meeting Bina -- can't wait to hear all about it.

Kelly said...

I can't speak for Sabine, but I don't think you had anything to worry about. You're pretty terrific. However, I do get your point. Why do we worry so much about what others think?

Gabby said...

Well, I want the unedited version, how was the trip? I know you are gonna say, great! Right?

Linda said...

Beautiful post! I look forward to hearing all about your meeting and to following you here!
Blessings