Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This is what I know

  • ........ (que crickets chirping) Yup, that sums it up.
  • Okay, so I do know a little more than nothing, but that has been how I have felt all day long today. I feel like we put our life on hold on Friday and still aren't any clearer. Finally I did talk to someone and we set it up that the girls will come here on Friday the 24th. I really don't know how much I am able to tell you about the whole situation, but this is what I will say: The girls are 2 yrs old (3 in the fall) and 1 1/2 years old. It isn't an emergency situation, which is why they aren't here yet. The placement will start out temporary. We have no idea how long it will be before they decide if it will be permanent.
  • I feel quite drained today. I have been on edge and very short when playing 20 questions with everyone. (So if you have talked to me today- I apologize) I really just don't know much right now. I feel excited most definitely, but I am also extremely guarded right now. I don't want to get hurt or to have my children hurt. This has already been an emotional roller coaster. The preparations are never ending, and yet, you can't do everything until they are here. I have no idea what size clothes we will need, if we need diapers, sippy cups, what size beds, what kind of foods do they like, I feel quite helpless yet. I am sorry if this sounds whiny, its just me being honest here.
  • I also want to savor each minute with Maicy this week while I am able to give her one on one time, but then the next minute, she just goes on and on and on and on and on and I just want my ears and head to have a break! Then the fact that Jackson is still gone, that just always wears on me by mid-week- yup here it is, mid-week! I am anxious to have him back home, but so grateful that he is having a great time with his Uncle Darwin -- if nothing else his uncle is having a blast! ;)
  • So, that's what I know. I am excited, I can see God's hands in this. I have faith that it will be good. And if it isn't how I planned, I know God will get me through that too. I did forget to mention last time that Friday when we got the original call, it was exactly 1 year to the day after my hysterectomy! I think that everything has fallen into place so beautifully that really it only could be God orchestrating this.
  • It's a little jumbled, its not poetic, its just how the day is. I hope this answered some of your questions. ( I guess I have to go to that meeting tomorrow night now!) We are trying to be patient, and in the meantime, praying through this verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

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