Monday, July 20, 2009

This Rainbow


I have waited I think long enough to clue you all in.I still don't know for sure, but I do know enough that I want you all to know.

We got a call on Friday. Two little girls may be needing a home -- soon. So many things rushed through my head! I was at the park with Maicy for the summer rec picnic when I received the call and I called Steve to talk about it some more. We decided- yup, this is it. Go for it. My nerves were all in a bundle! I had to go home to call this woman back, and her extension was at my house. So, thanks to a friend, I left Maicy at the park in capable hands and went home to make the call. We honestly believed that by that night we would have 2 more girls here. However, this woman from Kids Net called back later to say that she was unable to contact the case worker, so it would be Monday before we heard more. Deep breath - okay. Now I had time to at least prepare and gather my wits ( still looking for those!) Maicy and I decided to go to Nebraska on Saturday then (we had planned on going from Sunday-Wednesday) and then come home on Monday.

Got home this morning only to find out that it will not be until Wednesday for sure. There will be a family team meeting in the morning, and that is when it will be decided if the girls will be placed in foster care --our foster care.

I have gone through so many emotions this past weekend, I don't know where to begin. Friday I was so excited and crying and just ready. Then the weekend I calmed down and then nerves set in -- how will they adjust, how scared will they be, how will we do this with Steve just 2 miles over the state border so I can't go down there to see him, how will he be able to bond with them, so on and so on. Today, I talked with the investigator working this case. He told me so much, and now, I know who the family is. I know the mother. It is no longer about our excitement, I am aching for this family that will be torn apart and yet, still wanting, if these girls come to our home, to remain in our home. And yet, I know that my first role as a foster parent is to encourage reunification with the mom. It is a fine line, and it will be a difficult journey for us, I know that. I covet your prayers right now. For us, they we may adjust with life going from 2 children, to 4 children. For me, as I will be home alone most of the time with these 4 children. For Steve, as he is in Nebraska and unable to come home as often as he would like. For my kids, that they may have patience and understanding, for these girls as they enter a new world and are scared and confused, for the bio mom, that her hurts may be healed and that she may come to know what it really is that she wants in life. This rainbow, has some clouds around it, and that is clear to see. However, we are still so excited for the opportunities that God is granting us. We want the chance to love and nurture these girls as they should be, and if it is God's will that they return with their mother, then we will need so much strength to endure that also- and we know that He will provide that. I hope this isn't information overload. I feel I am suffering from information overload, so that is all that can come out of me right now. I will keep you posted on what is happening.
  • In the mean time- if you want to see a great video- hop on over to *A Life Outside the Box* on my right side bar and view the video she posted Sunday. Very moving.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Lots of prayers coming your way Alicia. I'll look forward to an update!