5 Words - not to be confused with 7 deadly sins

A dear bloggie buddy (blogdie?!) of mine participated in this meme of 5 words, and well, I bravely asked her for 5 words also. Okay, the whole meme thing, I don't like that word. If I have to look up the definintion before I can use it, I probably shouldn't use it! And wikipedia doesn't even have a concrete definitiion of it yet! They don't know either! Maybe someone could hand out "meme" as one of their 5 words! Okay, I am done with the crazy phsycotic portion of the show now. Or am I? Moving on. The goal of this is to get to know one another better, so I had to comment on her blog for 5 words and then she gave them to me and now I have to write what I feel about those 5 words. Does this make sense to anyone? Anyone? Bueler? Bueler? I'll just get started, and I believe you will pick right up on it!

• PEACE- Is it a noun? Is it a verb? Is it both? Peace is to me comfort in knowing that it is all in God's hands. That if He intends it for me, it will be. It takes the load off quite a bit to know that. I may screw up, but He is still the final decision maker and it doesn't all fall on my lap. Peace is also something I work towards everyday. Peace that I made the right decision, peace that God is listening, peace that God's plan will unfold, peace that He loves me and works toward my success not my failure, and in the end, it will all be for His glory.

• RAIN - I love rain! I love nothing more than to sit by the window and watch the heavens open up and just wash away all the dirt! It means an excuse to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and a good book. An excuse to keep the kids inside and build blanket forts. An excuse to take a nap! Through in some good loud cracks of thunder, and it is just the perfect day. And you can remind me that I said all of this when I schedule a camping trip and it storms, and storms. Because that is what happens to us. Then, the rain is inconvenient! You know, as I write this out, I think, hmmm, maybe there is more to the rain. We love it when we want it and its convenient for us, but if we have outdoor plans, we don't appreciate it so much. It gets in the way of our fun. Much like I love to have God in my life, there to hold me up, wash me off, make me clean as new. But then once in awhile, I am doing something that I know He wouldn't approve of such as gossiping, or watching a movie that really shouldn't be watched, and He nags at me to quit, and I kind of want to swat Him away, because it's getting in the way of my fun. Hmmm. Bina, you have caused me to overthink.

• WEEKENDS - I have a love/hate relationship with weekends. When my hubby is able to make it home, I love them! Its a great time for family togetherness and just doing normal stuff together. All too often though, he has to work, at least on Saturdays, and then, I just want to hide in my house and not see all the families doing yard work together and dads playing with the kids. Because then I quickly begin to feel sorry for myself and wish things could be different. Most of the time, I love weekends, love the break from kids school routines, going out to eat, going to church on Sunday. And oh, Sunday nights fall on weekends. I love those, that is where Steve stays home with the kids and I get to go to the evening service at church all alone! I get to hear every word of the sermon, no one pokes my bottom during the singing, no crayons to pick up at the end, no candy wrappers crinkling next to me, no one needing to go the bathroom...aaahhh.....

• JELLYBEANS - Why? I still don't get the jellybeans but here goes. I love black jelly beans. If there is a dish of jelly beans I will only eat the black ones. You either get it or you don't. Now, if we are talking jellybellies, or starburst jellybeans, let me share with you how I eat them. I will grab a handful, and look at the flavors. Then I proceed to eat my least favorite ones first, saving all of my favorite ones for last. No mixing of flavors allowed! It must be done orderly like that. Its the most OCD area of my life really. Same goes for m&m's and skittles as well. I sought help for it once, but the medication came in different colors, and well, you can see the endless problems with this. Moving on.

• BEAUTY - This is where I don't like my blogdie buddy Bina (say that 5 times fast!) so much. And she knows that this would be the one to bug me. I know she knows it. My job entails making people beautiful on the outside, granted most of them already are, I just freshen their look a bit. First though, I work on inner beauty. A few years back after one particularly cranky lady that blesses me with her presence each week despite the obvious fact that she doesn't like me, made it obvious that I would be graced by her every week, I knew I had to change something. So, I pray for her. While I shampoo her hair, I pray for her. And then I started doing it for most of my customers. I don't know what troubles many of them, but I know we all have burdens, so this is my service to them that they have no idea about. And I pray for our time together and that if there is something that needs to be talked about that the Holy Spirit would guide us through. Now, onto outward beauty. Beauty makes me so uncomfortable. Beautiful people make me so self conscious I really don't get to know a lot of people well, because I am so intimidated by them. I give myself entirely too much credit and imagine how when they look at me are totally picking me apart left and right. I believe that unless I already know you well, 95% of people I encounter in any day, have that effect on me. Not that I can't fake it and carry on a conversation, but I feel that they are judging me and thinking they are too good for me. It is ridiculous, I know that. I definitely have feelings of inadaquecy. Is this too much information?! I didn't mean to be so brutally honest here. I am so going to experience bloggers remorse in the morning! ( Really, God, this is what you want me to say?!)

I have opened it up, my walls are down. Who knew that 5 simple words could tear me down so far?

Mending

I have been putting this "project" off for quite some time. And, as usual, the more I put it off, the worse it got. My daughter loves her blankie. I mean love, love, loves her blankie. I know she is 6 years old and a very big 1st grader now, but we can't seem to get rid of this well loved friend of hers. Its just a part of her. It was a gift from Grandma Pearl who is now 91and not so able to continue making blankets. So, its quite irreplaceable to me. See, this is her when it was beautiful and new and you could see the design on it. It was fresh and clean, and yes, already, very much beloved.

Isn't my baby just so precious and sweet?! She was fresh and new there too! I thought I would have a hard time finding a picture with that blanket in it, hah! Not so much, every page I turned in her scrapbook was like "where's waldo" for the blankie. It was usually around, no matter what. Which has caused us to look more like this. This is her other best friend. His name is Lucky. Lucky he hasn't been condemned yet because of all the disease he must be carrying! Wherever blankie is, Lucky is also. Now that Maicy is 6 however, they do both stay in her room on her bed on school mornings, and only come out when she is sick, or really tired, or Saturdays, or when she is cranky... umm. yeah. So they make there appearances often! Here is the result of such love. Do you see that 18 inch scar down the middle? Yup, that's what happens when you are sooo loved. I had to hand sew it, because my sewing machine was eating the fragile fabric around the big giant hole.

These corners have wiped tears, snot and yes, even vomit. Sorry, but its true. This blankie has helped this dear one through many sad days, bad days, and gone along for bike rides on good days.

To bring myself through this dreadfully tedious task of stitching this worn friend, I had to think about the symbolism of this dear one. This blanket proudly bears the scars of carrying its loved one through good times and bad. It comforts and soothes when nothing else will do. It has been beaten and battered and tossed to the ground. It has been forgotten and thrown aside during the easy times. It has always been there to be picked up again, ready to start the loving over.

I can't help but reminded of the scars that Jesus proudly wears. His wounds there because he has helped us through those horrible times, he carried our sins, he brought us through. He has been beaten and battered and too often tossed aside when life is going well. He is there to pick us back up again when we need Him. He is always waiting with love. He joins us on the journey, no matter where it leads.

Maybe its a stretch to relate a torn up tattered blankie with our Savior, but I need visuals, and this is my visual. Like looking through the scrapbook, you can look back on your life and play "where's waldo" and see that Jesus was there on every page. He may have been off to the side when we didn't know it, but he was there. Every time.

We all need mending from time to time, and our Heavenly Father is there, to carefully stitch us back together. He does so with love, allowing the scars to be seen so that we may not forget what brought us there.

God is Good, All the Time...

One Step Further

All day this has been on my mind. Remember the point from Dr Lew that I mentioned in my last post that says "When you look at your spouse remember that there was a time you would have done anything to get/keep him" ? Well, today, that stayed with me, and I then thought, What if we take that one step further? What if we remember the first time that we knew, really knew, Jesus as our Lord and Savior? What if we remember when we look at our Bible, how anxious we used to be to dive in and just devour the words in front of us, like an unquenchable thirst we couldn't get enough of what He had to say? What if when we hear His holy name, we remember the first time that we said "Jesus, come into my heart, it is yours now" What if when we sing those awesome praise songs, we remember the goose bumps that they first brought to us? What if when we are tempted by sin, we remember how when we first believed, we would have done anything to prevent hurting Him? And what if when we look at the cross, we remember that He loved us so much that He DID do EVERYTHING for us?

It is so easy for us to become stale in our faith. It becomes a chore, a nagging thing we have to do, something we are great at for a few days and then get busy with life again. Much like our marriages do, when we forget how much we loved that person at one time. I encourage you to go ahead, and remember what that was like, when all you wanted to do was love your God and honor and praise Him!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

Early Poppers

If you were where I was this weekend, you know I am totally about to rip off Dr Lew. If you weren't there, well then, just disregard that first statement. This is totally me! Okay, not true. I was at the Peel's Hair Show this past weekend in Council Bluffs, IA and had the awesome pleasure of once again listening to Dr. Lew. I have heard him once before, and couldn't have been more thrilled when I heard he was going to be back at the show this year! To give you a background- he is a psychologist who is now a public speaker/encourager for salon professionals. (doesn't salon professionals sound so, well, professional?!) Moving on, if you need a visual, picture Larry Appleton from Perfect Strangers, you know, the show with Balki? That's who he reminds me of, but older, and a little less hair on top. I don't know his religious convictions, but I believe that he is a believer. While I know he needs to remain vague, you can't help but as a believer, see God in what he says. So, today I am going to share with you my favorite points from Dr Lew. (he had 2 hours to talk, I'll try to keep this post under 1 1/2 hours!)I am just going to do a bullet list of my favorite points to make it easier:

• Early Poppers- What does that first kernel of popcorn know that the rest of them don't? I think this just speaks tremendously of faith. Some of us, jump right in anxious to see what God has in store for us. Others, we want to wait and see what happens to everyone else before we just go ahead and pop, and then, the rest, hang on until that very last moment and beg God to help us and give Him complete control over our lives.

• How can we be alive and be unhappy? Just the fact that you are alive, offers HOPE!
• Whatever I blame in this life, I give my power away to. But seriously, it wasn't my fault, it was so and so's fault. They got in my way, they made me mad, the traffic was there just to make my day worse. By continuing that inner dialogue, we give our power away to whatever it is that we think is the problem.
• What is, IS. That's it. It just is. We can say, "there should have been no traffic" "we should have bought that house instead" "I should have been with that person" There are no "Should haves" because it is, you can't change that it is. Or was. My favorite line from Dr Lew is " You can should all over the place, but it doesn't change what is!" (say it out loud now. Yeah, that's what it's supposed to sound like)
• Remember when you look at your spouse, that there was a time you would have done anything to get/keep him/her. I love that. I think I need to put that on my bathroom mirror!
• Today is the most important day of my life! It is the only one I can shape now!

I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into the motivation offered up by Dr. Lew. He is one of those few people who can make you laugh and cry all at the same time.

Sorry, it took me so long to get back at it. I think there are 2 or 3 of you who I have inconvenienced by not writing anything. ;)

God is Good, All the Time!

This Miniscule Little Me

• I am currently reading the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is the current book over at The Bloom Book Club- check it out- its a great place to be! I have just finished chapter 1 and I can tell that its going to be a long process. In a good way though. This book just really makes you step back and take a look at how truly huge and awesome God really is. Its reminding me to be in awe of his awesomeness. (that is a word in my own dictionary) The deeper look at all the things in creation, the fact that He was here before even time, He just is. We can't take that away. One of my favorite quotes from the book so far is "We don't get to decide who God is. "God said to Moses, 'I am who I am' " (Exodus 3:14) We don't change that." We often try so hard to put God into a box, or to some up with what we feel He is thinking, but we don't have that power. He is, therefore, He is. That's a fact.

• It also describes John's account in Revelation 4 and Isaiah's account in Isaiah 6 of being face to face with the one true God. I will admit, when I read the passages in the past, I get overwhelmed by the descriptions and I don't get it. This time, I got it. And what stands out to me the most is that day and night the creatures around Him are saying , "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come!" This chanting never ceases! How awesome would that be if day and night we praised God just for being God!

• And, yet, I have the nerve to question what His plan is for my life? How can I, when I truly, truly look at His almighty power, actually doubt that He has my little life under control. Of course He knows His plan, and of course His is far greater than I could ever imagine! Our lives are woven into His great and beautiful tapestry, and I trust that even if its not what I had hoped, He will make my life beautiful.

So again, if you want to check out the Book Club started by Angie Smith at Bring the Rain, hop on over, it'll be a great journey!

Speaking of Books...

While we are on the subject of books, and Nicole Baart, she is having a book give away on her site. If you just head on to my side bar (because I still don't know how to make a word a link) and click on her site, and leave a comment, you are entered to win. You don't need a google account or anything, just sign in under 'anonymous', but then sign your name to your comment. The book to win is Daisy Chain by Mary DeMuth. So go on, pop in and say hey, and you just may get to know a new author!

Defenseless

Labor Day weekend- yes I realize it was awhile ago. But anyway, we were gone for the weekend and had a great time with Steve's sister and her family as we do every year on Labor Day weekend. But, come Monday the lack of sleep of our children and the busyness of the weekend caught up with our otherwise angelic an obedient children. Yeah. And normally I am the example of patience not losing it at all when they whine continually for 5 hours and then you give in only to have them whine more about how it still wasn't right and so on. Ahem. Yeah, that's me. So let's just say that by the car ride home we were all a little bit "done" with each other. We really just needed some quiet time and a little space. My kids actually picked up on that at some point and began coloring nicely in the back seat. Then I hear, "Mama?" "Yes, Maicy?" "Mama, how do you spell sorry?" So, trying to not to smile and give away that I have an inkling at what she's up to and choking up at her sweetness, slowly spell it out for her. Then she handed me this: ( She colored the picture on the backside.) Now I beg you, how am I supposed to resist this little one? What kind of defenses can I possibly have against that?

Books, Books, and more Books.

I haven't been feeling that great thanks to a miserable cold. So, my creative juices all seem to be stuck... in my nasal passages if you really wanted to know. Which I understand that you didn't, but well, now you do. So sorry. Anyway, evidently sick days are no excuse for not updating as pointed out by my dear friend Holly. So, here I am, I am going to totally rip off from Bina's Pad, and talk about books. I love to read, and since my husband is gone a lot and my kids go to bed early- I love school- I find myself with plenty of time to read. ( this is only of course after the laundry has all been neatly put away each day, the floors vacuumed and swept, the furniture dusted * ahem* lets not go there) Here are some of my favorite books and authors. One of my favorites include a series that I know the first book didn't get rave reviews, but I enjoyed the whole series all together which is by Neta Jones The Yada Yada Prayer Group I think that the series really grew into a great thing. I loved getting to know the characters and watch them develop. Jane Kirkpatrick is another favorite author. I started with the Kinship and Courage series which begins with All Together in One Place. The one shown is the first in the Dream Catcher series. Her books are historical fiction which completely intrigue me. They depict the growth of America and the effects on the Indians of the land. Different series of hers focus on different portions. I haven't found anything by her that I haven't loved. I like to transported to a different time and to imagine this land before there were freeways and skyscrapers.

And last, but certainly not least, Nicole Baart and The Moment Between. I love this book! For those of you from around here, Nicole is a local writer born and raised here. Fairly new yet to the published world, but definitely making a name for herself. This book is just amazing and I couldn't put it down. There is raw emotion and pictures of grace and atonement. Here is the trailer for the book.

What are your favorite books? What authors do you know you will just eat up their books as soon as they are released? What is your favorite genre of book to read? Just curious what gets everyone else excited when it comes to books!

Happy Monday!

Aware

So lately I have been struggling with Identity. I think this is something that we could cover in support groups or meetings or conferences, etc for years, and while we learn so much... each season of life is a new struggle in identity. I think that women may experience the struggle more so, but I don't want to discount the 1 or 2 males reading this and say that you don't. But. Women do struggle with this more. Anyway, as the kids go back to school and I am again left in the dust, I often struggle with who I am, what should I be doing, is this enough, what do others think of me? I wonder what to do with my self......

Do I want to be an astronaut?

Or do I want to be a pioneer and discover a new land? Oh, yeah, there we go, how about a pro skateboarder?

All kidding aside... that part was just a way to share pics of our Labor Day weekend ;)

The other night as I was thinking of this post, I came across the song by Salvador, entitled Aware. Really, all I want to be in this life is His daughter. I want to live my life for Him and give Him thanks for saving mine. Whatever else I do, as long as I do for Him, not me, will be right.

Lord, make me aware, help me to see that it is you, and this world has so little to do with me. Your great big plan is so much more than what I can imagine-- and I can imagine a lot! Use me as you would to work for you.

Aware by Salvador (pause the music at the bottom of the page first)

Without Love?

• As much as I have been enjoying the devotional that I read with the kids in the morning-- yes the same one that gave me my new favorite verse, and the kids least favorite verse!- I have found some things that cause me to be more aware. It is very easy for me who grew up in a christian home, school and church, and yet feel like my Bible knowlege is lacking, to disagree with devotionals. I usually go along with them if I know the publisher and figure they have it right. I think I tend to let that be my God breathed scripture, and fail to be as objective as I should be. After all, it is still just human interpretation, and humans tend to interperet to their own liking.

• So, as I re-read some missed devotions from what must have been a Thursday- I am getting ready for work on that one day and we tend to miss the laid back morning- I realized that I don't agree at all with this page. Anyway I am just going to quote the whole thing.

• "But how do I know when I love someone?" Patti asked. "Sometimes I feel love for people. But sometimes I don't." "Love is not a feeling," her mother explained, "It's an action."

"But what kind of action?" "When you help others in need, encourage people, give money, then you know you're loving others. Love is doing things for them." "But what if I don't feel anything? Is it still love?" Her mother smiled. "even if you feel nothing, it doesn't matter. Love is acting to help others. It's not just feeling good inside." "But when you help others, you do feel good inside. Right?" "Correct." As Patti discovered here, obedience is what God wants most. When we obey him, we are loving Him. And oh yes, the verse to accompany it: How do we know that we love God' children? We know it when we love God and obey his commands. 1 John 5:2

• While it isn't a bad sentiment, and yes, love is definately an action word, but, have we oversimplified? This passage is telling me that I don't need love, I just need to do things for other people. What?! What about 1 Corinthians 13:1-3? If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowlege, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

• I do realize that the author was trying to simplify to speak to children. But it is my general feeling that kids can take in more than we give them credit for. I don't like the message being sent out that if they are robots simply doing, doing, doing, without love, that they are okay. The first commandment calls us to love. No, it doesn't come easily, and no, you can't say you love and not obey or serve either. You just can't have one without the other.

• If you are still reading at this point, wondering when exactly I will be stepping down off my soap box, and what the point is for this entire post, bear with me. I really just want to make myself aware, and if by happenstance anyone else gets my point, that we need to be aware of false prophets. The best way for that of course is to learn your scripture inside and out and to keep it in your heart. Its the best defense against the devil and all his attempts to hijack us. Just as you are aware of strangers in public around your children, be aware of what you are reading to your children -- and yourself. I am not saying this to preach, just because I myself needed that wake up and reminder.

Thanks for hanging in there! I am done now... Blessings, Alicia

My New Favorite Verse

I am certain that no one out there will be able to relate to what I am about to say. But bear with me. Today, my kids were cranky, moody, naughty, and just annoying. They were bickering constantly because *gasp* "She talked to me!" "He looked at me!" He this, she's that, and on and on! And yes, this was all before school. Oh Happy Day. Clearly they didn't get the memo that today is Friday, and that Friday is a good thing, and we need to wake up happy because its Friday! Nope. They didn't get that message. And by the time I had to hear from my poor, abused son, that he couldn't believe that I would make him eat that nice hot breakfast with biscuits, sausage, and cheese, (where you can you go wrong with those items?! And no eggs! He hates eggs!) that I made for them, instead of just letting him eat a bowl of cold cereal, I decided it was devotion time. I opened up NIrV Kid's Book of Devotions to today's date and behold! this verse: Children, obey your parents in everything. That pleases the Lord. THANK YOU, JESUS! Jackson honestly said to me after I read it slowly with a huge grin and then read it again just to make sure they heard me, "You are making that up! It doesn't say that!" And I politely said "Colossians 3:20" and his face fell. So I said it once more, just for emphasis. That's the kind of good mom that I am. He then went and found a notebook to write it down. And this was after he devoured his delicious breakfast made by his favorite mom. Yeah, that's right. God was on my side today, point 1 for mom. ;)

'cause everyone else is doing it!

Just for fun- a few other bloggers did this, and I thought it was fun! I knew who they looked like, I don't know 3 of the 5 here!

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