Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Complete, but not finished

Wouldn't you know it. For days, really I feel like weeks, I have had nothing to say. Nothing. No stirrings, no inspiration. And well today I am overflowing! Don't worry I will break it all up and put it into more posts so as not to overwhelm anyone...particularly myself. I do want to begin by saying that I know now (pretty sure I did before too, but I like to live in denial) why I have had no inspiration or stirrings. I have not been spending time in the word, not keeping up on devotions, and being a little rushed through some prayer times. And then I wonder why I have nothing? Not really. So, that is the guilt I am feeling, but hope to remain on target, until the next time. And then you can all slap me upside the head.
  • I had a plan in my head for what I was going to write, mainly because it has come up a lot in different circumstances. I believe that when we told people that we were terminating our foster care of the two girls this summer, that people just assumed we were done with the whole idea of foster-adoption. Sadly, it has started to come across as a bit of "whew, they got that out of their system, moving on now" Not from everyone who it has been brought up with, I assure you. But enough that I just feel the need to state clearly, that our intention is to do whatever God leads us to do. Our strong desire that had been so clearly orchestrated by Him to begin with doesn't just end overnight. Our case was not the case for us. He has made that clear, despite the feelings of guilt that I still live with, despite the questions raised, and yes, even despite the feelings of certain family members that we made the wrong decision by letting them go. It was right to let them go. We had no other choice for our family. But even all of that, doesn't change that we still have strong hope in adding to our family through adoption. I still have a heart for fostering-- I don't think that will ever leave me. I am not finished. He is not finished with us.
  • I have spoken of contentment. I am content, no matter what. Being content however is a daily action for me. I do need to decide to be content. And while some think that means being done with our foster to adopt journey, it doesn't at all mean that. It means that my heart desires one thing, but I also know in my heart, that if my desires and prayers don't work out as I planned, I will be happy and I will be content. It is a daily choice. Each day that we don't get a phone call, I choose to be content. Not only content, but to embrace, and to rejoice in what I do have instead of focusing on what I don't.
  • While watching Beth Moore's Esther video this morning, at the very end she shared a verse that she reads each morning. I think it is a great reminder, and it is a part of my life and a part of my learning contentment each day. Colossians 2:10 KJV "And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power" It doesn't matter what tomorrow brings, I am complete in Him.
God is good, all the time! PS: You can still enter to win the book! But you CAN'T WIN if you DON'T ENTER! ;)

1 comment:

Bina said...

Ah Miss Alicia...you never fail to inspire me while also causing me pure laughter! That is an amazing verse...one I need to write into my journal. Like...now. Going.

He is good...all the time!!
Am praying for you as you still work thru the matters of the heart...and that He presents you with scheduled time that is His, for no other reason than you love to be together!!