Monday, October 26, 2009

He gets it from his Mama

Here's my boy, in the blue helmet,
Jackson is taking hockey right now. (Yikes!)
And I am really proud of him, he is doing awesome! Each time he goes out on the ice he improves more and more. It is so fun to watch! He is also gaining confidence, and not struggling so much with that shyness each time we head into the rink. Oh, the boy breaks his mama's heart because he. is. just. so. sensitive. ugh. I hate it, because I have always been the same way. And it makes me soo mad when I can't get a grip on the unwanted tears that fall upon my cheeks. So everytime I look at those giant brown eyes well up with tears, my heart breaks, and then I get mad, at me, for passing that on to him. Why couldn't he have just gotten my incredible smarts, or super outgoing personality, or that never ending, never offensive charm?! What? Oh, that isn't me? Flashy smile? No? Sleek and athletic body? Try not to choke on it! Super cute dimples... ah, he did get those! From his dad. Umm, okay. So he got what he could. It's what I had to offer I guess. I know that God has a reason for making us this way... haven't found out what that is yet... but I know its His plan and He doesn't make mistakes, but oh, the humbling lessons of seeing our worst traits in our children!
What traits have you passed on to your kids that make you want to run the other way?
Psalm 139:14 (The Message) 13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

4 comments:

steph said...

Yes, it is very frustrating being sensitive and I am sure even more for you as your son is sensitive too. However, that sensitivity allows you to relate to others and their sensitivity. God DID make you the way you are with all the beauty and sensitivity that makes you YOU!
Have a great day!

Bina @ Bina's Pad said...

It is so hard to look at my kids and know that the things they struggle to accept about themselves are the same things I have had to learn to live with...
Liz has my stubborn, black and white attitude (...which, can I say, is NO fun dealing with inside me much less when it is my mini me fighting back at me),
Julia has my emotional breakdownedness (...again no fun as I want to be the one who gets to stomp off to pout but nooo-ooo. I have to be the grown up...gag),
Joseph gets my migraines...and while not a personality trait, it can cause similar responses when in full swing,
Emily is stubborn, stubborn, stubborn...and I can hardly see myself in THAT at all.
*sigh*
And while Miss Lauren is not born of my blood, God's sense of humor runs rampant as she and I bond over a love of reading and yet another mile-long stubborn streak.

My mom cursed me once..."I hope you have one just like you"...little did she know that God was listening and split my personality 5 ways. :)

Holly said...

I like to blame all those traits on my husband! But truth be told, my little angel is more and more like her mother every day. I will relate more when she enters into those situations, Braden is a people person, which may be came from me, we both know it didn't come from his father:)
Jackson having your qualities can really only help you relate to him and show him how to get beyond them!

Love you for who you are! again you make me laugh!!

alicia said...

Steph- Thank you, you bring out points I don't always see, love your perspective!

Bina- to see myself in 5 kids, that would be sheer torture! But I know that your kids also received great qualities from you!

Holly- You made me cry. WTH?!

Love you all and thanks for commenting!!